The Comical Radio Podcast, An Earfull of Funny
Comical Radio is a weekly radio show broadcast out of the heart of NYC. Every week the cast gathers to tell funny stories from their dysfunctional lives and interview the biggest names in the comedy world. ComicalRadio.com
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- THIS JUST IN:
Illegal baby bartering at Walmart proves that white trash babies are more valuable than any other babies. Except for slave babies, who will give you a lifetime of benefits. If you want a useless meth baby, however, just go to Walmart and look for the drugged out mullet champ holding a $25 dollar baby. Can you say rollback?
Katy Olson's babies are soon to be famous for inventing the breast bong. Milk in shot form is the best kind of milk. Other than tittie milk. An unbeatable combination!
Today Danny Lobell continued to amaze the universe with his idiocy. "Commence" does not mean "to end". I might be getting ahead of myself here, but I THINK it means the opposite...can we get confirmation?
Then Chris Iacono's hateful existence reached new heights. He hates hard tacos. Michael Ian Black, our call-in guest, was so offended by this that he hung up. A dial tone is truly the best reaction to this blasphemy.
Michael Ian Black hides his career from his children. Because if they find out what he does, they'll probably also find out about his other, far superior, secret family.
Why on earth did Jordon Ferber get a B.A. in liberal arts? It doesn't matter because his girlfriend is a solid ten. Black models and short pocket Jews can have true love, somehow. Lucky bastard.
As usual, Chris tried to prove to someone (is anyone listening?) that he can get hot chicks too. Intern Allison was forced to go into the studio to crush his daydreams. Also known as lies.
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Today we talked about a lot of things that aren't funny, but tried to make them funny anyway. Death, getting hit by a bus, genital disfiguration and alligator attacks. Katy Olson joined us to temporarily replace the all-knowing genius Myka. She was not surprised to find that the maturation train has yet to leave the station here at Comical Radio. Some things never change, even if those things really should have. Not that people are tired of David Kasten bringing up swollen nutsacks every Friday...
Perhaps this unhealthy obsession with the status of a "friend's" diseased tadpole holders will cure Kasten's asexuality.
Comical Radio then took a trip down memory lane with Danny Lobell. Surprisingly, seeing a gator wrestler in Florida lose two fingers to un-tameable vicious jaws is a fond memory.
Christian Finnegan joined us on the line today to brag about his air guitar skills. Not being physically present in the studio laid these bold claims to rest - you can't win the gold medal of air guitardom with words, Finnegan. Until you send us live video footage, we're spreading rumors about you.
Katy Olson used magic to make the discovery of her dead brother light-hearted in the throwback spot, White Trash Update.
Judy Gold called in to remind Danny Lobell that he is fat and annoying. Subtle gym recommendations do not fly under the radar, mostly because Judy is a rude Amazon of a lesbian. A conclusion was then made that she does not wear the pants in her relationship. She might, however, wear the high-waters.
Kelly Carlin, life coach, calls to catch up. Everyone concludes that if Michael Jackson had stayed alive, the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico could have been prevented. Natural disasters just need some MJ fairy dust.
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- Comical Radio
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Listen up, hairplugged faggots! Mistress Comical has some demands and you must OBEY:
Don't order the steak salad at Cosi....the red meat in the picture is FALSE ADVERTISING and it is not delicious.
Comical Radio gets into the mind of Melissa Febos, former dominatrix and author of memoir "Whip Smart" She went to Harvard and has an MFA from Sarah Lawrence, and she wasn't even the most educated girl in the dungeon.
Also on the show...
- Dave Kasten shoots up an unknown drug
- Danny Lobell dates former intern and new roommate Robot Intern Kylie
- Chris Iacono makes a promise to Uncle Luigi and the ice cream gang
- Myka Fox risks AIDS at Time Out New York Magazine's singles party
- The goodbye roast of Adam the Intern, whatever his name is
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- Comical Radio
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- The magic word for Comical Radio today is RESTRAINT
Myka Fox pierced a hole through her lip while desperately trying to open a magnum of wine during a faux Passoever seder. Blood spilled everywhere as warned by God, and yet none of the other plaques we wrought upon the party. RESTRAINT
Danny Lobell took a tour of the Jameson factory and lied to the curator despite Jameson's not truly being the Goldilocks of whiskey. RESTRAINT
Tiger Woods waited until his 14 year old neighbor turned 22 before fucking her. RESTRAINT
Danny Lobell pranked RACHEL FEINSTEIN while in Glasgow by convincing her that she had run up a $50 (lbs) bill by watching the television, thus proving that life isn't really that crappy, it's just Danny that's crappy. Despite her severe annoyance, Rachel did not murder him. RESTRAINT
Myka Fox retold her Ricky Martin joke live on air even though she had previously posted in on Facebook, in an attempt to behave like a real comedian who tells jokes. Danny Lobell and Chris Iacono scolded her for her efforts, then mocked her deliver. Myka did not murder them. RESTRAINT
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Comedian, ECNY award nominee, degenerate Dan St. Germain came into the studio and his face faced immediate assault: Chris Iacono does not like comedians with beards. And boy does St. Germain have a doozy of a beard. St. Germain satiated Chris' unwarranted rage by promising to come up with a creation date for all of his facial hair and admonishing him with this warning: You can't hate referential comedy if you don't know history.
As such, the following guidelines were established:
Civil War Reference = Bad Comedy
Twin Peaks Reference = Good Comedy
And that was the show. Check back i for our next episode: The return of the Fat White Hope!
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- Former Intern/Canadian Sensation Graham Kay came into the studio fresh from doing some hard time in the clink. Clearly shaken, Graham allowed few complete sentences ou of his mouth: "Obey the law. Jail is bad. Is that a dude or a bitch?"
Chris Hardwick comedian "tough as a lesbian" came in late and over-apologetic saying "it doesn't matter how hard you throw a brick..." What was he talking about? Chris caused laughter to come from the crew, and then shuffled out mumbling something about having "Rob Zombie is the nicest guy ever...I have the mind of a nerd and the body of a Jewish model." Impossible, no one with a smart nerdy brain could think Jews could be models.
Dean Edwards stunk up the studio pretty with his Egyptian Musk, entrancing Dany and the crew. Under his spell, Danny, Myka, and Chris believed he was every celebrity he impersonated when they forced him to recreate his original SNL audition, which means that the days guests included:
-Chris Tucker vs Chris Rock
-Jay Z and Erykah Badu
-Denzel Washington vs James Eal Jones
-1980's Eddie Murphy vs Current Crappy Eddie Murphy (our words)
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- After an old Italian lady put a curse on Danny Lobell, forcing him to spend his morning cleaning up seven years worth of dog shit in his backyard, Danny felt he was ready to start cleaning up after a coop of chickens. So he built a chicken coop. If Danny were the only person to respond to the US Census, the nuclear family would include Danny, his infamous neighbors "The Blancos," five pit bulls, one with mental retardation, and two males chickens. But aren't there no such things as male chickens, aren't they roosters? Not in Buswick, Brooklyn, the heartland of the Dominican Republic where Danny and the Blancos exchanged food stamps for live fowl.
As horrified a Myka Fox was at hearing that Danny will now have access to an unlimited supply of eggs and will be exposed to the Hanta virus, Chris Iacono was touched by the story. If Danny could use his food stamps to get two live chickens, Chris was taking his to the zoo.
A fine idea, considering Chris just ended a week of cat sitting for his ex-girlfriend where he became horrified that a maid did not come to clean the litter box. After the neglected cat began resorting to crapping in the bathtub, Chris joined in on the protest and left his turds there too. It served his ex and her neighbors right, Chris justified. "They were always giving me dirty looks like I wasn't good enough to be in their building."
Maybe they were giving you dirty looks because you perch on the edge of a bathtub like a downhill skier with poop poking out of his butt.
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- Comical Radio joined in the studio today by former intern turned Tv star Andrew Shultz and comedian Nate Bergatze. The crew debated reality tv with Kelly Carlin, the existence of 26 foot waves, the "supposed" global warming myth and the southern magician
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- I Take Issue With The Fool
Danny Lobell had a successful meeting at social services, which just goes to show, you are never too fat to receive food stamps.
Fed up with unwilling students in the bedroom, Myka Fox is setting out to create a better lesson plan. Part mood setter, part instructional video, make sure to look
out for Comical Radio’s new album “Bang To This Tune: Music to bang to.”
According to David Kasten. there is no such thing as the Winter Olympics. There are only summer Olympics. Any athlete participating in the winter Olympics is just a janitor with a weight problem. What a louger.
Chris Iacono proved once and for all there was no Jesus. But if there was a Jesus, he would definitely not have been white. In a related matter, the rest of the Comical Crew proved once and for all that Chris doesn’t know what he is talking about. But if he did know what he was talking about, Chris would definitely not be living in his grandmother’s basement researching Jesus.
Comedian and porn writer Matt Bridgestone, AKA Porny Van Horny, called in to promote his benefit show for Haiti. Apparently, all it takes for a nice Jewish boy to become the kind of person who makes a film called “Reality Sucks” is to fall in with the wrong crowd. And all it takes for the director of “Reality Sucks” to be sent to jail is to rip out the eyes of his girlfriend’s other sex partner. Please donate to Haiti.
Why does it smell like sweat and baby food? Dylan Gadino called in straight from running intervals to deliver the Punchline Comedy Wrap-up. He wanted to aid those in Haiti too, but no one donates money to someone running a marathon on a treadmill.
Five Minutes with Dwayne Perkins!
What’s up? I was a correspondent on the Jay Leno Show.
What else? I went to South Africa and my friend’s driver committed suicide after I left.
What else? I saw Kat Williams host a comedy show in LA every Friday for a church group and kill every week. I also saw him host a show every Tuesday where he used the N-word every other sentence and kill every week. Kat Williams is a talented guy.
And that was the show! Tune in next week for Patrice O’Neil and Marc Curry. Or no one. Too soon to tell.