Comical Radio: Home for the Homeless and Assorted Wackjobs

One thing I can say about Danny Lobell is that he is true to himself. Another thing I could say is that he truly loves homeless people. Today our hobo guest was Leroy Chow, subway superstar. He is renowned throughout public transit for his impeccable ability to almost get the words right, and for singing especially when you don't want him to. He scoffs at the NQRW, and calls the D his home - probably because the Asian population there doesn't know English lyrics. Vince August came on to make sure his other secret career and his other secret name were not revealed during our news correspondence. Chris Iacono has a lot of problems, but a bitch ain't one. He temporarily gave up dating - that is until Morgan Murphy, model and comedian, entered the studio. Morgan generously offered to participate in Chris' upcoming "Chris Iacono Foundation Telethon Fund Drive to End Chris Iacono" or something by pumping up the crowd using very well-rehearsed rhythmic clapping. I guess what I'm trying to say is...Morgan, will you give Chris a pity date to save him from his "purposeful" dry spell? Beth Lapides came in the studio today to reveal her boyfriend, who is a relatively new life addition according to galactic time. She used calculations to determine that we are 100% unhappy here because we spend 12% of our lives here. The other 88%, however, is totally happy! Al Lubel wore a knapsack today. Danny determined this was most likely to cause the downfall of his career. That and the his accelerating transition toward looking like Lionel Richie. Danny is soon off to South Africa, where there will be far fewer black people than there are here in NY. But watch out for quicksand! He sought out some travel advice from the the Diplomat to South Africa, himself. Said diplomat graced us with his presence by entering the studio today. Except he wasn't a diplomat, he was Gawy. This was mainly to prank Chris, but also because Gawy has a lot of things to say. He forewarned against the dangerous "zacks", half-man and half-pig beasts that roam Africa in the form of celebrities and politicians. Scary stuff. Much scarier than AIDS, who can actually really help you out when you need a tutor in your biology class.